Poor Imp

As much as I respect and value your opinions, both as a writer and an great friend, are you sure about that? I don't particularly care for my style myself ...

Ah yes, the prologue is already significantly cut down and rewritten, I merely haven't changed it here. The second person, too, is demolished -- as are a good deal of ...

Moved to Other Fiction by request

ooh....cool....okay.... I love being forum retarted ^_^ Ah, that means yes, I guess?

Hey Dream Big. ^_^ If you want remarks/critiques on your writing, you might be better off posting them in the Literary Forums. (You'll see a button linking there above.) If ...

It was amusing, Chantel, as DD notes. But it's not quite non-fiction. Moved

Yeah, not all of them were crappy, but some of them were fit to be tied, beaten with a stick, and then killed in some horrible way, preferably by being ...

(Chp. 4, being finished in critique here...) You should have run, he told himself silently, stalking his hunters in the deserted alley. You should have run on Pershozhen, anonymous in ...

Snoink: But! But! I love ellipses! Yes... delete all of them. And why? Because frankly, my dear, they suck. Completely. *shoots Snoink* XD But in any event, Imp, you've got ...

Now that I'm awake and seeing somewhat clearly: Thanks very much, DD and green_river. ^_^ I'm an inept judge, half the time, of what I've written--or I suppose so it ...

Thanks, DD. 'Flippant' did bleed over from Vetren'iy . ^_^'' And so I assume it's not as bloody miserable as I thought? ^_~ Oy...more will be posted.

Hey again, Shafter. ^_^ The new draft is definitely tightened--near the beginning a bit more clear; and the sentences vary somewhat more. Émon swam furiously away from the pain when ...

Critique in chp. 4 Hullo DD...a critique at last, or most of one. ^_^ The tension in this bit is tangible, and is involving enough that I tend to dismiss ...

The shift from prologue/beginning is much better- ten times clearer and it makes the connection as well as giving us another aspect of Tai. ^_^ "Not if I kill you ...

Delayed - but here's rather more in-depth response to 'Crutch'. ^_^ The room was dark and musty. Rats were crawling everywhere and screams of pain were common. One man sat ...